.
Continuation
You and I are of two discrepant minds:
We disagree on all that matters—plus,
Our separate brains are not quite sure what kinds
Of things they favor, making four of us.
The four of us engage in conversations
That sound like bickering in closed committee
Meetings where doubtful fates of sundered nations
Are hammered into shape. It isn’t pretty.
Despite the caterwauling that prevents us
From finding out whose foot best fits which shoe,
Much later in the night we reach consensus
And so adjourn for further peer review.
.
.
Song of the Wokester
I’m neither he nor she—
Biology is bunk.
On water I get drunk,
And one plus one is three.
We shouldn’t have to pay
For what the world provides;
Unlimited free rides,
No doubt, are here to stay.
Evacuate the jails
And let no one feel safe;
Let all the world be rife
With felons tough as nails.
Integrity is lame,
And cheating always works,
So you are in, you jerks,
The Loser Hall of Fame.
The truth is what we say
It is, and nothing more;
Unless you want a war,
Just fall in line today.
.
.
Us and Them
If it weren’t for the lies—as we often surmise—
__Then the Left would have little to say,
And to get to the truth is like pulling a tooth
__When they tell us to have a good day.
They still claim it’s not normal for air to be warm,
__And they want us to tighten our belts;
When we’re freezing our asses and cannot buy gas,
__They will tell us, “Grow fur on your pelts.”
All the pronouns they mangle and tales that they tangle,
__If there’s justice, will come back to haunt;
In the meantime they choose to embellish the ruse
__That’s provided them all that they want.
Though it goes without saying, the price we’ve been paying
__Is far more than the public should bear,
But the way things are going it’s difficult knowing
__Just how long till we’re paying for air.
All the mandates they gave us were meant to enslave us
__And to keep us from earning a wage.
Every one of those beasts that on misery feasts
__Should forthwith be sent back to its cage.
.
.
C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden. Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India. His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press.
Wonderful stuff CB. I love all three of these poems. Thank you for a most enjoyable and enlightening (my hopes for the dopes), read.
Thank you, Norma, but I’m not getting my hopes up.
Big fun, Sir. Well written, clever, and exactly what many are thinking nowadays.
All three poems are great, as can well be expected in regard to C.B. Anderson.
One minor point: I already pay for air when going to a gas station to put some in my tires. It used to be free. Now freedom is up in the air.
Good point, D.P., but I was thinking of the air we breathe, not the air with which we fill our tires. Hot air, however, is plenteous and will always be free of charge.
We always need something to laugh at, Russel, but I’d be happier if more people nowadays were thinking such thoughts.
Satirical wit at its finest, C.B., and I thoroughly appreciate it… especially ‘Us and Them’. I love the rhyme, rhythm, and ridicule. I do, however, believe we pay for air now… it’s free when we breathe it in and taxed heavily when we exhale. A terrific trio of top-notch treats… very clever indeed!
I’m not sure, Susan, what you mean by “taxed heavily when we exhale.” Is it that we are condemned when we speak the truth, or is it just that exhaling enlarges our carbon voiceprint? According to my dictionary, satire is still satire even when what is expressed is pretty much the bald truth. I hope soon to return to less advertently political themes in what I send Evan’s way, but you can never tell. Sometimes one simply must say that which must be said. We’ll just have to see. You, of all persons, surely know satirical wit when you see it, but I think I am running out of new ideas.
“Pity” has the same alternating internal-end rhyme structure as “Us and Them”—is that your own creation? If so, it should be called the “Anderson stanza”.
You are correct, Stephen, in your observation that “A Pity” has a certain structural similarity to “Us and Them”. But the former poem is iambic pentameter all the way, while “Us and Them” is anapestic, with alternating tetrameter and trimeter lines. The latter form has been utilized by any number of poets, and I would hesitate, nay, cringe, to hear it referred to as an Andersonian stanza.
All very incisive in subject, while humorous in tone. “Prevents us / consensus” is especially fun.
I thank you, Cynthia, and I hope I shall someday write some serious poetry, but it’s difficult doing without the fun. It always pays to keep our inner ears open.
The company I keep regularly lambastes the left, viciously but never so prosodically. “Song of the Woke” really adds a layer of satisfaction to it all! I enjoyed all three, but this one especially.
Then, James, I would say that you are in good company. When I send links to such items to my “progressive” friends they almost never respond.
Each one of these poems is a blast, C.B. — skillfully executed with messages as as sharp as a machete. “Continuation” amused me greatly for its stream of bureaucratical images and the conceit of four opposing viewpoints given that your subjects are each of two minds. “Wokester” and “Us and Them” skewer the leftist mindset with great wit — and honesty.
My mother often told me that honesty is the best policy, but she never taught me when it is best to keep one’s mouth shut. So far, no one has noticed that the first poem could easily be taken as a commentary on a pair-bonded couple in a rough patch, which is how the poem was originally conceived.
Wonderful thoughts in all three poems that I completely support, except for the fact I never arrive at a consensus. I am particularly taken with the portrayals in the third poem that the Left has little to say but lies and they should be sent to their cages for their beastly behavior. These are great depictions of my feelings!
I’m happy to oblige, Roy.
“Continuation” is a brilliant little gem about how private disagreements are mirrored in the larger (and more momentous) public disagreements in forums where “doubtful fates of sundered nations / Are hammered into shape.” In both cases decisions are finally reached, but the public decisions can be monstrous or frightening, as Kip’s tone suggests.
The other two poems delve into the mental derangement of the Woke Left, who are currently in ideological ascendancy over the rest of us. If it weren’t for the First Amendment, neither of these two poems could be published without very nasty reprisals against both Kip and the SCP. Just ask any Canadian or Britisher.
You, Joseph, are the first respondent who noticed that at base the disagreement was private and personal, with the fundamental nation being the family, even if just a binary couple. If my satire is any good at all, it is because I have learned at the master’s feet — that be you JSS.
Well written and all too true. I was reminded of an interview with John Kerry, who tried to justify his flying round the world to warn against CO2 emissions!
The hypocrisy of poseurs such as Kerry is truly astounding, David. It’s as though they possess no self-awareness whatsoever. With “leaders” such as this we will never lack for dissemblers. All they ever do is steal all the oxygen in any room they inhabit.
I love all three, but “Continuation” is a particularly sly and brilliant piece that only you could’ve written.
Sometimes I wonder, Shaun, why it rarely if ever happens that two writers come up with identical poems. I suppose that the reason for this is that there is a virtual infinitude of possibilities. On this ground I am willing to accept the idea that only I could have written such and such a poem. This might be true for every poem ever written.
Liked the descent to the consensual level in “Continuation.” My contribution to the ways of “paying for air” is not being allowed to use camp stove (outdoor) or fireplace (indoor) here where the poseurs have already stolen the oxygen in spaces they inhabit. I explain the “new restriction” in your terms from your reply to Whippman just above. I am sorry to suggest that you may need to continue writing unserious stuff for an indefinite time. We are ahead of even Massachusetts here in California, but the number of “new restrictions” broadcast by mail, TV, radio, and internet is proliferating. It’s as if the words can be adopted by any flunkey who presumes the slightest bit of authority to do so in any field. And I appreciate your ordering them all back, each to “its” non-binary cage at the end of “Us and Them.”
This, Margaret, is the world we now inhabit. We are compelled to share it with a host of petty auto- and bureau-crats. It’s cruel and ironic that though they won’t allow us the fossil fuel we need we are forbidden to burn renewable wood.