Humor

. In Love's Counting House by Charles d’Orléans (1394–1465) One day I asked my heart to heed A claim for pay that I commended, And we in secret soon agreed That he would tell, for pains expended In risky service, what descended To me as earnings from Love’s sweets. Most...

. Regret Hangs on Where Opportunity Once Existed There are lots of sad words we lament with such ease,But there’s none any sadder and mournful than these:I regret my decisions, and wish to go backTo that Y in the road where my life went off track. I was foolhardy, reckless,...

. August 31, 2021 Humpty Dumpty looked at the wallHumpty Dumpty said “This must fall.”Mexican cartels, yes rapists and thugs,Cross now with ease and sold Humpty his drugs. Humpty Dumpty left a long war.Humpty Dumpty said, “What’s this for?”Sitting all cozy in his leather chairLeaving Americans screwed over there. Humpty...

. The Untrue Artist “The true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art” ---George Bernard Shaw I’ve put untapped potential on a shelf much like a book one someday wants to...

. À La Mode In Antarctica The boffins in Antarctica are well Adapted to the climate on the ice. Among the most exclusive personnel, For stylish kit they pay a tidy price. To wow the penguins and to look their best They wear top-flight designer gear. Forget The rest, the...

. It’s Fall, Y’all!   Autumn is here and I’m swathed in a sweater, A snug fluffy scarf and warm mittens. My Ugg-cuddled feet have never felt better; These boots are as cute as soft kittens. Autumn is here and it’s chocolate I’m sipping With melted marshmallows galore. Pumpkin-spice candles are glowing and flickering,...

. El Chapo El Chapo was a criminal, a very nasty bloke. A dealer in Amphetamines, along with Crack and Coke. He plied his trade in Mexico, where guns and drugs are rife. He made a pile of money and enjoyed the wealthy life. But then one day the cops...

. California Wildfires to the tune of “California Dreamin’” All her landscape bronzed, Her breezes ashen gray, What can Cali dream on, Despoiled and rechauffée? Never safe, too sultry In her disarray . . . California wildfires Have scorched her prime cachet. Tresses blazing gold Her forest wealth display, Woods...

. Cancel Madame Butterfly today! Such racist music cannot soothe the soul. Let’s never show another hate-filled play. The King and I must also cause dismay Since white composers can’t know ethnic dole. Cancel Madame Butterfly today! We also need to cancel the ballet. Swan Lake promotes a privileged white...

. The Lyme Brain’s Refrain, or At the Cupboard What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I, what am I, what am I doing? I’m doing something—something I’m doing— But what am I, what am I, what am I doing? What am I doing? Where am I...

. "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."  ---H.L. Mencken In days of yore, like maybe fifty years ago,We scorned all those who claimed...

. “Of all the tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.” ---C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock: Essays on Theology  It’s said that life’s a bitch and then you die. Cold-shouldered super-scolders make it worse. Smug, mega finger-waggers sell the lie That...

. Where meagre rains are tinted red From dust the Western winds have borne, The publican to stranger said: “We’re fortunate that here is shorn A class of wool unique in hue— The pre-dyed fleece of Station View. “And as for boundary fence and post That creeping sand is wont...

. A Summary of Oedipus the King by Sophocles, and Notes This play, no doubt to Sophocles’ surprise, When first performed took only Second Prize. Summary King Oedipus of Thebes, both good and wise— Or such, in pride, he thinks himself to be— Packs Creon off to Delphi to surmise...

. Prayer of the Guilty Poet Before I put these words to ink, Be still, my pen, and let me think. Are they the balm to expiate, Or bomb indeed, to detonate? . . A City Short Make no excuse, I heard a sneeze! Old man, produce Your papers, please!...

. Know How to Mow __You want to raise your rates, you say? __Your crying poor is killing me, __for what it’s worth.  Just yesterday, __when you were blithely billing me __for services you rendered on __a Saturday two weeks ago __—the mowing of my splendid lawn— __you seemed quite...

. Allgibberish (I Saw a Man Who Wasn't There) after “Antigonish” (“I Met a Man Who Wasn't There”) by William Hughes Mearns Yesterday in great despair, I saw a man who wasn't there. He's on the news again today, oh how I wish he'd go away. This afternoon at ten...

. “Make a decision,” is what me ma said, As she wearily plucked at each feather, ‘Er old gnarled fingers rough and red And clumsily workin’ together. “Yer’ll not get another chance like this, Two offers in less than a week. Great mother of pearl! A decision now girl, This...

. The arrogant are all about these days. How disrespectful are their callous ways! They go about as freely as you please— No mask, no vaccine, carrying disease And likely death wherever they may go (Which is all places, if you want to know!). But why do I speak of...

. This challenge comes form poet James A. Tweedie: Perhaps the most familiar of all formal, English-language poems is the classic 18th century bedtime prayer that reads: Now I lay me down to sleepI pray the Lord, my soul to keep.But if I die before I wakeI pray the Lord,...

. The Commander-in-Chief How Biden sucks---I mean the man, Who being wholly characterless Will criticize Afghanistan "Cowards"---when he can’t face the Press! . . James Sale is a worldwide thought leader on motivation: he has had 4 books on the topic published by Routledge, and over 700 management consultants in 15...

Reviewed Book: Legends of Liberty Volume 1, by Andrew Benson Brown, T A J Classics, 2021 by James Sale Legends of Liberty is an important new poem from the American poet, Andrew Benson Brown. The nearest work that one might compare it to is probably Byron’s mock-epic, Don Juan. It is...

. The Worst of Rhymes No matter where we choose to sit, A fool, alone, would not admit, We’re living in a world of shit And I have more than done my bit. Here by the guillotine I knit Caps for the heads devoid of wit--- I am a useful...

. Write a poem rhyming the word "orange" with something else. Post it in the comments below. This challenge comes from Cheryl Corey, who provided the below poem as inspiration: . Nothing Rhymes With Orange Why, oh why, does nothing rhyme with orange?But if I say it en franҫais---“l’orange,”Aha! I...

. We can’t remember. After years of war that thing once known as “poetry” was lost. We know there was a Greek named Robert Frost; we don’t know what “pentameters” were for. In rotting libraries the lame and blind burn offerings to Hecuba and Seth. They brew a postapocalyptic meth. Perhaps it’s...

. I’m Andrew Cuomo---I get a pass. If you don’t like it, kiss my ass! I’m Andrew Cuomo---I don’t resign. I’m governor---this state is mine! . . Joe Tessitore is a retired New York City resident and poet.

. Farmer, Unpack the dormant forces quiet days Have put aside and stoke the smothered fire Whose soot fanned out in lifeless carbon rays Upon the hearth of winter’s mild repose, But bear the fire within—long days require A bolder stroke.  The spring comes to a close, And summer spawns...

. Rondeau The rondeau echoes its refrain in a subtle way, just as rain at times will fall, not in torrents, but in a fine mist, the wood fence, weathered gray, resisting the stain of water. So, the reader’s brain, lulled, may not at first sustain the expectation and suspense...

. You’re glad you’ve nabbed The Covid jab That’s newly fabbed In some large lab Created by The jaundiced eye, The sneaky, sly, Big corporate guy. The slimy thug, Our taxes sent To make the bug More virulent. He’s in with Xi, Our enemy, And Xi can see Our liberty...

. Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! That most sagacious Mr. K*Told listeners: “Back in the day—‘The Enlightenment,’ they call it; haw,No way! ‘Twas filled with moral flawBeside which our few failings pale.Yes, they’d put people up for sale!Take Washington, the so-called FatherOf Our Country. We should ratherRemember him not as a founderOf...

. ⬙ Judged by Cynthia Erlandson See all entrants here. ⬙ . FIRST PLACE WINNER ($100) . A Slight Deviation from the Canterbury Tales after Chaucer’s Prologue and other poems by Brian Yapko, Sante Fe, New Mexico When that April with his showers sweet Made mud fields out of every...

. Lucky It stormed around our house last night, The lightning turned the black sky bright. Tornadoes came to join the fray, The morning news led me to pray. Six houses leveled, not too far--- How vulnerable we all are! . . Why We Have Mother’s Day The son while...

. O Happy Glass Another soul inside a glass deep red— I think on Provenance, effect and cause: Do you begin in wind? In sun, or rain? Inside a seed in bed, or in the grower’s head? In winter when your climbing growth takes pause? In summer when your jewels...

. Heliotrope Phaeton, son of the god Helios, attempted to drive his father’s celestial chariot. His inexperience caused him to burn up part of the earth and the heavens, so he was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus. The frightened gods all breathed in deep relief (Thunderer, thanks! You’ve saved...

. With How Sad Steps from a Philip Sidney sonnet With how sad steps, O Moon, you climb the skies! How silently, and with how wan a face! What see you? Humankind’s excessive pace Getting from here to there? We are not wise, Who to alarm clock daily need arise,...

. Am I, am I beautiful? Surely my face qualifies: Forehead pearly bright to rise Over sweetest lips cerise. Tell me if I’m beautiful! Cupid’s brows I have, green eyes, Rounded chin, nose small in size, Blonde curls blowing in the breeze; Am I, am I beautiful? Firmness my high...

. Brimstone I sniff a whiff of brimstone in the tone Of smooth effusions oozing from his tongue. A lick of sulfur clings like stale cologne To slickest syntax eloquently strung Like lustrous pearls to wrap around the throat That swallows every sickening cliché. The polished bleating from a cheating goat Is honed to lead the sweetest sheep astray. I hear his cloven hoof tap to the beat Of hapless hearts all fed the plumpest pledge--- That putrid fruit the...

. A Black-Listed Species The avian community is glad He’s dying out, the mad oölogist. With every species on the British list He always wanted more eggs than he had, And on his checklist those he had to add Were those his greedy eyes could not resist. So sad, this...

. Choose a famous poem and write it in limerick form, putting the title of the original poem at the top. Please fit your chosen poem into one limerick (five lines) only. See "How to Write a Limerick." Post your limerick in the comments section below. See examples: . Nothing...

. The Best and Worst of Times “It was the best of times, it was …” but how Can anyone forget those words once pearled By Dickens so very long ago; and now, Do we ourselves not live in such a world? Don’t we have the best of everything: Appliances,...