Humor

. The Worst of Rhymes No matter where we choose to sit, A fool, alone, would not admit, We’re living in a world of shit And I have more than done my bit. Here by the guillotine I knit Caps for the heads devoid of wit--- I am a useful...

. Write a poem rhyming the word "orange" with something else. Post it in the comments below. This challenge comes from Cheryl Corey, who provided the below poem as inspiration: . Nothing Rhymes With Orange Why, oh why, does nothing rhyme with orange?But if I say it en franҫais---“l’orange,”Aha! I...

. We can’t remember. After years of war that thing once known as “poetry” was lost. We know there was a Greek named Robert Frost; we don’t know what “pentameters” were for. In rotting libraries the lame and blind burn offerings to Hecuba and Seth. They brew a postapocalyptic meth. Perhaps it’s...

. I’m Andrew Cuomo---I get a pass. If you don’t like it, kiss my ass! I’m Andrew Cuomo---I don’t resign. I’m governor---this state is mine! . . Joe Tessitore is a retired New York City resident and poet.

. Farmer, Unpack the dormant forces quiet days Have put aside and stoke the smothered fire Whose soot fanned out in lifeless carbon rays Upon the hearth of winter’s mild repose, But bear the fire within—long days require A bolder stroke.  The spring comes to a close, And summer spawns...

. Rondeau The rondeau echoes its refrain in a subtle way, just as rain at times will fall, not in torrents, but in a fine mist, the wood fence, weathered gray, resisting the stain of water. So, the reader’s brain, lulled, may not at first sustain the expectation and suspense...

. You’re glad you’ve nabbed The Covid jab That’s newly fabbed In some large lab Created by The jaundiced eye, The sneaky, sly, Big corporate guy. The slimy thug, Our taxes sent To make the bug More virulent. He’s in with Xi, Our enemy, And Xi can see Our liberty...

. Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! That most sagacious Mr. K*Told listeners: “Back in the day—‘The Enlightenment,’ they call it; haw,No way! ‘Twas filled with moral flawBeside which our few failings pale.Yes, they’d put people up for sale!Take Washington, the so-called FatherOf Our Country. We should ratherRemember him not as a founderOf...

. ⬙ Judged by Cynthia Erlandson See all entrants here. ⬙ . FIRST PLACE WINNER ($100) . A Slight Deviation from the Canterbury Tales after Chaucer’s Prologue and other poems by Brian Yapko, Sante Fe, New Mexico When that April with his showers sweet Made mud fields out of every...

. Lucky It stormed around our house last night, The lightning turned the black sky bright. Tornadoes came to join the fray, The morning news led me to pray. Six houses leveled, not too far--- How vulnerable we all are! . . Why We Have Mother’s Day The son while...

. O Happy Glass Another soul inside a glass deep red— I think on Provenance, effect and cause: Do you begin in wind? In sun, or rain? Inside a seed in bed, or in the grower’s head? In winter when your climbing growth takes pause? In summer when your jewels...

. Heliotrope Phaeton, son of the god Helios, attempted to drive his father’s celestial chariot. His inexperience caused him to burn up part of the earth and the heavens, so he was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus. The frightened gods all breathed in deep relief (Thunderer, thanks! You’ve saved...

. With How Sad Steps from a Philip Sidney sonnet With how sad steps, O Moon, you climb the skies! How silently, and with how wan a face! What see you? Humankind’s excessive pace Getting from here to there? We are not wise, Who to alarm clock daily need arise,...

. Am I, am I beautiful? Surely my face qualifies: Forehead pearly bright to rise Over sweetest lips cerise. Tell me if I’m beautiful! Cupid’s brows I have, green eyes, Rounded chin, nose small in size, Blonde curls blowing in the breeze; Am I, am I beautiful? Firmness my high...

. Brimstone I sniff a whiff of brimstone in the tone Of smooth effusions oozing from his tongue. A lick of sulfur clings like stale cologne To slickest syntax eloquently strung Like lustrous pearls to wrap around the throat That swallows every sickening cliché. The polished bleating from a cheating goat Is honed to lead the sweetest sheep astray. I hear his cloven hoof tap to the beat Of hapless hearts all fed the plumpest pledge--- That putrid fruit the...

. A Black-Listed Species The avian community is glad He’s dying out, the mad oölogist. With every species on the British list He always wanted more eggs than he had, And on his checklist those he had to add Were those his greedy eyes could not resist. So sad, this...

. Choose a famous poem and write it in limerick form, putting the title of the original poem at the top. Please fit your chosen poem into one limerick (five lines) only. See "How to Write a Limerick." Post your limerick in the comments section below. See examples: . Nothing...

. The Best and Worst of Times “It was the best of times, it was …” but how Can anyone forget those words once pearled By Dickens so very long ago; and now, Do we ourselves not live in such a world? Don’t we have the best of everything: Appliances,...

. Hunter Biden, New Millennial American Painter “It’s Generic Post Zombie Formalism Illustration”  ---Jerry Saltz “a…vaguely psychedelic vibe…Tomaselli…for dermatologist waiting rooms” —Scott Indrisek by Red Was Iceblue He used the N-word in iMessage conversations with his lawyer—Hunter Biden is an artist full of pith. In fall, a New York exhibition...

. In present, past and future, My parrot’s quite a moocher. She’ll eat whatever suits her __No matter whose it is. If what you’re eating tempts her, There’s nothing that preempts her From thinking that it’s meant for __Her own aperitif. Or if her fellow parrot Is munching on a...

. On Death and Life not by John Milton Ere Death’s foul fetters drag me to my tombAs fodder for the very maw of hell,Should not my weary, failing soul rebelAnd seek release from sin’s eternal doom? For didst not Eden’s God deign to presumeTo breathe eternal life into the shellOf...

. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlTisI_HSgw . The Head of Health and Human Services after W.S. Gilbert’s “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General” We are the very humble head of Health and Human Services, We run a huge department rich in happy, helpful purposes. We champion the charity, so noble,...

. What’s In a Name? Useless Loop is a small town in Western Australia. Nevertire and Come By Chance are both located in the state of New South Wales, Australia. There’s a place I yearn to live in, before health and vigour give in— It’s a town quite like no...

. Ferdinand the Freestyler Angela Jackson is the Poet Laureate of Illinois and Jacqueline Jackson is a poet frequently published by Illinois Times. As I sit here chillin' and relaxin',There's some questions I need to be askin':Is the world upside down? Do I smile when I frown?Are those "poems"  by Angela Jackson?...

. My eyes espied a little bird And in his mouth… a little worm, That screamed a scream but no one heard. To mourn a worm is quite absurd, I guess his life had come to term. That little bird… he sang a song, He sang as if his heart...

. In black and white terms, I would say, __You’re all more white than olive, Take Einstein, Rothschild, Proust, Bizet--- __all Western, bourgeois, stolid. Sephardic or Mizrahi breeds, __Hasidic, Ashkenazis, Your culture’s rich though my heart bleeds, __tough luck back with the Nazis. To say you’re still at risk’s absurd,...

. Grimm   The days of steering princesses from danger With sweet salvation’s life-sustaining kiss From shining-armored knight or regal stranger Are now considered horribly remiss. Young damsels in distress with golden tresses (Rapunzels with a Rumpelstiltskin fear) Will wince at any prince whose kisser blesses Them with a peck as peril's footsteps near. The same applies to victims of the spindle, All...

. “Daddy! There’s the big yellow ‘M’!” “May I take your order ple---?” “One Big Mac, Coke and fries!” Dad  yells, “and---” “Happy Meal for me!” “Coach” Dad would bus our team for shakes (whether we lost or won) cocooned in camaraderie, Great times, those days such fun! The day...

  Raison Du Jour Reason is like tea.It’s best at four o’clock,Which is an hour before cocktailsAnd two hours before dark. . . Finding at the Door a Disheveled Man Late on a Sunday Afternoon You don’t believe that I am Christ returnedbecause, you say, so often you’ve been burnedby...

. It was only a two stone cat, Now what do you think about that? If it sat on your lap, Both your femurs would snap. It was twenty-eight pounds of pure fat. Its owners would feed it on fish, Which they placed every day in its dish. Where it...

. The CCP Position on the Origin of Covid Point to their part Of the globe, And you’re a racist Xenophobe. . . Conmander in Chief Things are quickly getting better, Many times Joe Biden’s said it. Though vaccines are this trend setter, He won’t give Trump any credit. ....

. Logic Class As class convenes I quickly indicate in clear logician's diction of my eagerness to share my disposition to determine if we're here or there, or if instead we're neither here nor there. A student with a lisp, who would have been dismissed by any academic dean or...

. A Can of Worms I saw it in the writing on the wall. I couldn’t help but read between the lines. I knew that pride would come before a fall; A bold and blatant sign of troubled times. Caught within the crosshairs and red-handed, (I’d Champagne tastes and lean,...

. False statements spurn. Let’s shut them out completely. Quash so–called free speech. Cancel all you can. Do people think deplorables sing sweetly Or weren’t all guilty since the world began? If vile, white racist attitudes prevail In any form, for any length of time, They’ll just delay the hour that we can...

. Unintended Consequence The African-American High schooler had poor grades. Folks worried for his future, Seeing little effort made. Some caring people spoke to him, And urged it would be best, If he worked hard to raise his grades For college and success. The youth replied that grades don’t count...

. A Slice from a sonnet by Eleanor Alexander For me, my friends, no graveside vigil keep, With gnashing teeth and sodden handkerchief And grievous howls of outraged disbelief That I, so virile once, am six feet deep. Console yourselves that he is but asleep, This life below a mere...

. To the Residents Down Below I am a bookish kind of rat And like each rat before me, I’ve come to the conclusion that There’s few folks that adore me. Although I feel that this is wrong, I try to be pragmatic, I’d like us just to get along...

. Her birthday cake was verily a sight--- A work of art, a sugary-sweet confection, That much to all the revelers’ delight, The baker decorated to perfection. It brought a special twinkle to her eye, To see it topped with flowers freshly-picked, But when the reddest-red she did espy, What...

. Default, to a Fault There are as many deeds I ought to do As there are jobs in urgent need of doing. My task is knowing whether to pursue Them, or, too overwhelmed, to stop pursuing. As numerous as shores that hem the sea Are duties I am constantly...

. Fallen Arches “Not one change of species into another is on record… we cannot prove that a single species has been changed.” ---Charles Darwin I heard today that Darwin’s Arch had crumbled. Its lid blew off and plunged into the sea. The dizzy heights of Charlie boy have tumbled....