Ancestors Forlorn
From elderly to youngest child,
Methinks our forebears never smiled!
It seems that every picture shows
Each person with a solemn pose!
When shutters snapped and powder flashed,
All faces froze! All smiles were trashed!
No cheery smile was ever gleaned.
Was each upon a lemon weaned?
To young and old, to short and tall,
Photographers declared to all:
“All folk from farm, and those from town,
Alright now…. Everybody, FROWN!”
Am I Your Last Tattoo?
Oh, Stan… you’re such a handsome man!
_I fell when we first kissed…
But, how’d you get so many names
_Tattooed from neck to wrist!?
Although you said you’d love me, Sweet;
_Forever and a day;
I’ve got this nagging thought, my pet.
_That simply won’t go ‘way…
With Karen, Sharon, Jen and Ruth;
_Plus Liz and Mary Sue,
Upon your husky arm displayed;
_Am I your last tattoo?
You say my name will top them all:
_Beyond Belle, Nell and Fawn.
You’ve “saved a place” that’s just for me,
_Above Kay, May and Dawn!
Of course, I shouldn’t doubt your word.
_I’m sure your love is true;
But, then I spy there, Meg and Peg…
_Am I your last tattoo?
Can we erase Lou Ann and Grace?
_Although I mean no harm…
I’d love to see my name alone.
_How can we clear your arm?
Right on your biceps, burn my name.
_You know the honor’s due.
Then I can brag to everyone…
_That I’m… your last… tattoo!
Guy Graybill is a retired educator whose half-dozen non-fiction books have been published in the U.S., with one being published in England. His rhymes have appeared in varied sources in the United States and England. He lives in Pennsylvania.
Guy, these are both brilliant, witty poems.
If that’s a 19th Century daguerrotype, I think perhaps your ancestors might want you to know that they could have had to hold that pose for up to 5 minutes without moving a muscle or the image would have been blurred. To do that while smiling – especially without creasing up with laughter – would have been nearly impossible.
But your explanation is far more elegant – or perhaps they’re frowning because this was the fifth attempt.
What a treat, Guy. Just when I could do with a good laugh.
There’s a film, a comedy which has its moments, called ‘A Million Ways to Die in the West’, where the phenomenon of the non-smiling pose is examined.
And with the continuing fascination with body art (my stepfather had a tattoo back when tattoos usually adorned felons, ex-felons and sailors – you’ll be relieved to know his was an anchor), you’ve examined the drawbacks of having you current love interests name etched into you skin in a poem that’s a hoot.
Thanks for the entertaining reads.
Guy, you got it right about the old-time photos. Taking a family photo back then a was relatively rare occurrence. They all appear as if they were told to think lemon instead of saying cheese. “Am I Your Last Tattoo?” was fun to read.
The need for absolute stillness in poses for daguerrotypes is one reason why there are so many 19th-century photos of laid-out corpses. Today these photographs are horrifying, but back then the desire of survivors to have a remembrance of their dead kin went along perfectly with the requirement that subjects be motionless for an extended time.
Thanks, Guy, for these gems! As Paul has said, they supplied me with much needed laughter after a frustrating day. I have pictures of my own forebears sans smiles, and now I know from the previous comments why. But I especially love your rollicking fantasy of a plea to be the last tattoo.
Love that line, “Was each upon a lemon weaned?”