It Never Lies!
The camera tells a candid tale—
_they say it never lies;
it makes your crows’ feet more pronounced,
_it flaunts your thunderous thighs.
The button clicks, and there you are,
_your visage drawn and spotty;
and when you’re pictured standing, it
_accentuates your botty.
If caught off guard before the lens,
_we may seem dressed like beggars;
and if your tummy’s not held in,
_it can appear you’re preggers.
But be of cheer! AI is here
_to iron out those crinkles;
while photoshop can slim you down
_and smooth out all your wrinkles.
So even though I’m prunish-faced
_and silver haired and portly,
in photos on the mantelpiece
_I’ll be forever forty.
Some UK Colloquial Words
botty: bottom / buttocks
preggers: pregnant
Paul A. Freeman is the author of Rumours of Ophir, a crime novel which was taught in Zimbabwean high schools and has been translated into German. In addition to having two novels, a children’s book and an 18,000-word narrative poem (Robin Hood and Friar Tuck: Zombie Killers!) commercially published, Paul is the author of hundreds of published short stories, poems and articles.
Cute. I wonder if some people really do that? It wouldn’t surprise me — vanity is not new. I remember that for my junior high school yearbooks, some teachers submitted photos of themselves that seemed at least a decade old. Thanks for the read, and the chuckle, Paul.