A Dear John Letter to Chaucer,
in the Style of Chaucer
Dear Geoff, I took the pilgrim’s springtime jaunt
to Canterbury Cathedral, sacred haunt
where Tom à Becket, blessed by God got sainted,
whose blood and brains the Holy aisles once tainted.
How can I, now that holy thoughts abound
within my skull, hear vulgar tales resound
from your accomplished lips, in lowlife inns,
for He demands I compensate past sins?
Your paramour must bid adieu the hold
of fornication, finery and gold,
live humbly in the service of the Lord,
encloistered, never venturing abroad.
The wimple and the habit shall I don—
the bawd who was my former self is gone.
So, pen your lewd debaucheries alone,
whilst I, for my ill-deeds of old, atone.
Paul A. Freeman is the author of Rumours of Ophir, a crime novel which was taught in Zimbabwean high schools and has been translated into German. In addition to having two novels, a children’s book and an 18,000-word narrative poem (Robin Hood and Friar Tuck: Zombie Killers!) commercially published, Paul is the author of hundreds of published short stories, poems and articles.
Thank you, Paul, for this witty and skilfully written insight into the worldly and unworldly! Best wishes, Bruce
I’m glad you enjoyed the poem, Bruce. These trying times, humour seems to help.
A great poem, Paul — totally unexpected subject matter, and well crafted.
If this is the kind of priggish mistress Geoff Chaucer had, he’s lucky to lose her. Maybe he should grab the Wife of Bath while he has the chance!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Joe. It had been a while since I wrote a Chaucer-esque piece. Evan pointed out some inconsistencies near the beginning of the original submission and I thank him for that.
Paul, this poem has been written with superb subtlety and with great humor. What fun it was to read and contemplate.
Glad you enjoyed the poem, Roy. I often retreat to Chaucer when things get overwhelming. He’s like an old friend and he had a great sense of humour.
This is what happens when a great idea and great execution are combined. No artificial intelligence here — just natural intelligence.
Thank you, CB.
Charming, Paul. Thoroughly medieval intent, for you show she’s not yet even a beginner in spiritual life, much less in religion. But she seems fortunate to have plans that may go forward, as there was probably a financial as well as psychological settlement needed to proceed to the convent. Had you, Paul, modeled this on Chaucer’s own Retraction (also thoroughly medieval soul insurance) you could have added protestations of humility and a request for prayers. He gets mine when I think of it; you get a share for reminding me.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Margaret. Whenever I convey Chaucer in a piece of poetry, it transports me to another time and place where actions and motivations were often different to those of today. This is very satisfying, especially considering that I’ll eventually have to transport myself back again.
My latest challenge is Medieval hangover cures – let’s see what Chaucer makes of that.