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Therapy
—After “Help! I Can’t Stop Speaking
in Iambic!” by Cynthia Erlandson
Help! I can’t stop writing psychobabble!
No matter what I pen, it comes out gabble.
I scribble nonsense verses all the time,
self-actualize through crafting metered rhyme.
Long past the age of addled, callow youth,
I’m still endeavoring to find my truth.
That I’m quite co-dependent is a worry.
Perhaps I’m borderline? My self seems blurry.
“Sit down, be quiet!”: my elders’ sovereign word.
I soothe my inner child. She’s seen and heard.
“You mind your manners,” Mother lectured me.
Now mindfulness refers to Buddha’s knee.
Priests taught hellfire’s the price for mortal sin.
No. Merely my bad choices do me in.
My kin who push my buttons when they’re rude
have issues. Calmly, I assay each mood.
My cousin—feckless drunk—supposedly
(I must be kind!) is in recovery.
I’ve always known that gossips cause great hurt.
They’re toxic people: stay on high alert!
Before, a liar had his pants on fire.
Today, he gaslights like a suave vampire.
I stuff my feelings at huge psychic cost.
A primal scream might clean my mental fust.
These couplets are a game of hit and miss.
Applaud me, please! Then I can claim my bliss!
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Mary Jane Myers resides in Springfield, Illinois. She is a retired JD/CPA tax specialist. Her debut short story collection Curious Affairs was published by Paul Dry Books in 2018.
Claim away. You’ve hit many a nail on the head.
Thanks for the read, Mary.
Thank you Paul. A poet craves praise to keep penning!
Sincerely
Mary Jane
I am glad your therapy’s begun. I hope that you are never done.
Dear Roy
It’s such a delight received a rhymed compliment from a fellow poet! Thank you!
Sincerely
Mary Jane
I’ll add more applause so you can claim your well-deserved bliss. No misses with your couplets here.
Dear Warren
Thank you! Couplets are such fun to write.
Sincerely
Mary Jane
A nice collection of psychobabble terminology. I find it good practice to get up and walk away whenever someone uses these italicized words and phrases in conversation. It’s rude, but it makes a point.
Dear Joseph
Thank you for your appreciation of my couplets. These words and phrases are so ubiquitous now that it’s impossible to avoid them. The only solution: satirize them!
Sincerely
Mary Jane
Hilarious and brilliant. I broke out laughing in the coffee shop where I sometimes write.
Dear Jeff
I am so glad that I brought some gladsomeness into your morning!
Always be writing (and sipping coffee!)
Sincerely
Mary Jane
Mary Jane, I am so honored that you’ve used this title of mine as an epigraph, and that it inspired you to take off on these gobbledygook phrases in this poem which is both very amusing, and at the same time holds forth the truth it expresses satirically. Thank you!
I enjoyed seeing and hearing you at the Zoom symposium the other day. I also enjoyed meeting you at the Colosseum Institute with James Matthew Wilson in 2019. I still recall being impressed with the pantoum you wrote there.
Dear Cynthia
Thank you for your kind comments. Your little poem made me laugh, and those opening words you chose are perfect for satire!
I knew I had met you somewhere! I’ve just now realized we met at Colosseum Institute. I can’t find my notes from that seminar. My e-mail is [email protected] Please drop me an e-mail!
Sincerely
Mary Jane
Light verse is as good at revealing truth as some of the most serious poetry. You’ve given us a profound exploration of pop-psychology while you make us laugh. You display beautifully how these former psychological terms of art have entered our common speech.
Dear Adam
Thank you for your kind comments. Light verse indeed serves a dual function, doesn’t it? We laugh while we shake our heads, so true, so regretfully true!
Sincerely
Mary Jane
I snickered at your capability
For showing us your ‘vulnerability.’
Dear ABB
You’re quite expert at penning clever couplets yourself! Thank you for your kind comments.
Most sincerely
Mary Jane
You make an excellent point creatively and cleverly and I thank you wholeheartedly for doing so. Excellent stuff!
Susan
Your praise means so much to me. Thank you.
Most sincerely
Mary Jane
Mary Jane, what impresses me is your ability to sort out and scorn the therapy words of highly questionable value. Having two friends at present who need the real benefits of physical therapy, speech therapy, and even occupational therapy (I’ve only recently found out what that is!), I know there are many technical therapy words of great value. The vocabulary you make fun of here, however, is precisely that used to coddle persons whose emotional problems may be imaginary and self-destructive. These words actually prevent them from taking account of themselves and becoming able to deal with reality in an adult manner. Instead, they employ concerns over mental health to avoid improving it!
Dear Margaret
Thank you for your kind comments. I agree with you about the “coddling” aspect.
I also think that these phrases demonstrate the commodification and over-simplification of language, especially in the mass-market internet era. Professional jargon leaks out into the public at large, who then repeat the jargon without understanding its full import. The underlying concepts are trivialized. The words become no more than ephemeral slang terms that are “in fashion.”
Another unfortunate aspect: this jargon typically is generated in a completely secular context. So traditional religious concepts are “silenced” because the starting-point is secular. Even worse, popular secular slang-words now are utilized in religious venues.
Most sincerely
Mary Jane
Well done for this clever and oh-so-true poem. Those trendy stock phrases irritate the hell out of me.
Dear David
Thank you for your kind comments. I find it “therapeutic” to toss off rhyming couplets to satirize all those irritating stock phrases!
Sincerely
Mary Jane