Humpty Dumpty Redux
Some say we stole the land we think we own,
and that we must return it to atone,
but practically, it’s very hard to know
just how far back it’s possible to go
to find who first owned every property,
so we can track down all their progeny.
In Canada, the B.C. courts declared,
that current deeds to land are now impaired
since Aboriginal claims supersede
all subsequent transactions, so we need
to contemplate the question this now begs.
Is there a way to make unscrambled eggs?
There was a time before the Earth was tamed
when not one acre of it had been claimed,
but that changed as our forebears multiplied,
and as they did, they traveled far and wide,
but when there were no lands left to explore,
they took the land they coveted through war.
Unfortunately, there’s no place to go
to search recorded deeds from long ago,
so we can’t legally identify
the one who was the first to occupy,
each acre, so instead we look to skin,
and judge a claim by someone’s melanin.
But, even if we found deeds from the past,
should they convey a right that must be passed
to all on that first owner’s family tree,
or should we recognize reality?
The dirt beneath each acre is blood-stained
from those who died for what was lost and gained.
We act like we can fix an egg that broke
by separating cooked whites from the yolk,
and putting that mess back in patchwork shells,
which shows that we’ve ignored the parallels
with what kids learn from Humpty Dumpty’s fall.
Eggs can’t be fixed when they fall off a wall.
Such simple truths are wasted on “the wise”
who are too arrogant to realize
that even if they somehow could restore
one piece exactly as it was before,
then every egg still perched upon a wall
would soon begin its deadly, foolish fall.
Poet’s Note: On August 7, 2025, following a 513-day trial, the British Columbia Supreme Court released its decision in the Cowachan Tribes v. Canada case. The court ruled that Aboriginal land claims supersede those of current property owners. The decision is being appealed, but if it is not reversed, many people may be forced to relinquish ownership of their properties, and a precedent with broad implications will have been established.
Warren Bonham is a private equity investor who lives in Southlake, Texas.
There seems to be something in the Canadian water supply that makes people in that country profoundly stupid. It manifests itself in their support for such legal decisions, or in their incurable tendency to vote for politicians who make these legal decisions possible.
It’s time to realize that all these absurd “indigenous” claims to other people’s property are simply a manifestation of anti-white and anti-Western racism. And the fact that British Columbia’s Supreme Court goes along with the absurdity only shows that anti-white and anti-Western racism have infected the minds of many white people.
Every piece of land on earth has been conquered or taken over by somebody from somebody else. The land that the Cowachan tribes want back was stolen by them from some other “indigenous” tribe, who stole from some other “indigenous” tribe, going back in an endless cycle of tribal warfare. If the white people in Canada were smart, they’d simply tell the Cowachan tribes to fuck off and get a life.
I don’t understand that country at all. I got to Texas as quickly as I could. Maybe the province of Alberta will see the light as well.
What a horrifying situation! You’ve done a great job in your Humpty-Dumpty analogy.
The old nursery rhymes had a lot of wisdom in them. The Emperor’s New Clothes was always my favorite, but this one always held second place. Our wise leaders haven’t learned anything from either of them.
Warren, we both seem to like Humpty Dumpty analogies. I refer to the October 1, 2021, SCP publication of my poem, “The Case Against Humpty Dumpty,” in which I present illegal immigration (the wall) and the Woke situation. I support you in your excellent poem and Dr. Salemi in his scintillating criticism of the stupidity of the Canadian approach.
I will definitely go back and read that one. As always, you are several steps ahead of me. I appreciate the comment.
Alas, stealing land seems to be the order of the day if you’re better armed and better financed in these ‘civilised’ times, often accompanied by the euphemism ‘annex’.
Stronger peoples taking and annexing the land of weaker peoples has been the order of the day throughout history, Paul. What’s new is the left-liberal whining and moaning about it.
I don’t know. If you’ve heard and seen the Greenlanders (Greenlandic people) living in fear of a foreign invader greedy for their land and resources, a country that thinks up any excuse – the most ironic being ‘just because a boat landed there 500 years ago…’ – I wonder that any American could support such a crime.
Then of course there’s the double irony that climate change is opening up shipping lanes around Greenland and melting the Greenland Ice Sheet, making their natural resources more accessible, yet a mainstay of the present American government is climate change denial. Classic double think, as explored in Orwell’s 1984.
I’ll help you to know. Thucydides wrote “The strong do what they can, and the weak endure what they must.” And a Roman historian wrote “Wars are justified to those for whom they are necessary.”
Greenland is a major strategic place, crucial in geopolitical maneuvering. If it falls into the hands of the Chinese or the Russians, or if those feckless Danes remain incompetent to defend it properly because they’re too busy feeding and nursing illegal immigrants, then it is up to us to make sure it remains under Western control.
Your comment unconsciously proves what I said in my post: left-liberals whine and moan about morals and categorical imperatives while the realists of the world do what reality demands.
That’s it. Argument over. QED.
This is such a clever poem. I really enjoyed reading it. “Is there a way to make unscrambled eggs?” is my favorite line and so I’ve focused most on it when re-reading several times. I love the concept because of course it’s impossible to separate the eggs after the fact but the line could also mean is there a way to cook eggs other than scrambled. Do you think a comma after unscrambled might help those of us who get hung up on such things?
Now that I’ve reread that line, you’re absolutely right. How about this for a fix: “Can anyone unscramble scrambled eggs?”
Much clearer. Thank you for the “release”, Warren.
Great poem, Warren. Those on the left have scrambled brains.
Thanks! Those brains similarly cannot be unscrambled.
This is a terrific poem, Warren, on a subject that is both emotionally-charged and intellectually fascinating. Maybe it’s the lawyer in me, but your piece brings to mind a whole slew of issues which can never be satisfactorily addressed. The one that I consider paramount is the effect of the question of passage of time — is there a statute of limitations on an indigenous people’s claim to property? If so, what is that limitations period? 10 years? 100 years? 1000 years? When is the claimed injury too remote?
And what exactly does “indigenous” mean? As Joe points out, the world has been divied up according to conquests and treaties and squatting and all sorts of means of property acquisition. We can look at all the property in the Western Plains of the U.S. as belonging to tribes like the Cheyenne and the Arapaho, but they didn’t arrive until around the year 1700, which makes their claims to property ownership based solely on time inferior to the French who claimed Louisiana in 1682. Or is this inconvenient history?
It gets even more complex when we look at places like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas which were divided up into land grants — ranchos, et al. — from the Spanish crown. When the US took over there was considerable confusion over whether the U.S. would recognize the land rights granted by Spain. And then, of course, those Spanish territories had been taken over by Mexico before coming under American jurisdiction.
The can of worms opened by trying to figure out who gets what is complex and a sure-fire way to open up historical wounds. But the fact of trying to unbreak the egg as you describe, Warren, is futile and downright destructive. Hawaii was a sovereign nation taken over by the U.S. This was callous and destructive. But what are we going to do? Vacate? Abandon Waikiki and Pearl Harbor? What earthly good would that do? And if we had never taken over Pearl Harbor, would we all now be speaking Japanese after having lost World War II?
Thanks very much for pointing out the very real challenges to the emotional appeal we often hear that we just have to give everything back.
Warren, your scrambled eggs poem well eggspresses the insoluble complexity of the land issue. Your praiseworthy meter and logic, as usual, suit the dilemma as clearly as possible. An attempt to unscramble appears in every “land acknowledgment.” These are widespread in academia. A commencement program, or a wall poster in a building, or a speech by an official, points out that the institution or building makes use of land long occupied or used by a certain indigenous tribe or tribes. These acknowledgments raise or maintain awareness of the issue, which I believe is their purpose. But an acknowledgment of reality changes character if and when it is held to recognize ownership rights.
Thank you for the eggsellent comment. The recent Billie Eilish comment at the Grammy’s is the most recent land acknowledgement. Such statements always sound virtuous, but if they were truly sincere, they would be followed by some kind of action. In her case, it would be giving her property to the indigenous people who claim to have occupied that land for thousands of years.
Warren, I really love this one. And as great as this poem is, your comment about scrambled brains makes me think you’ve got an even better poem brewing!
Thanks! There should be another poem coming soon targeting a certain individual with brains that are too far scrambled to ever be unscrambled.
This poem is highly amusing and beautifully written, Warren, which makes it all the more impactful. As ever, you make a rational and perfect point with imagination, and I thank you for shining the light on yet another “current thing” used to beat those who aren’t allowed to have land, a culture, or an opinion, over the head with. Those of scrambled brains (whose favorite terms are “toxic masculinity”, “white supremacy”, and “racism”) blame the white, Western, straight male for everything under the sun, and this hyped up hypocrisy will continue until their very own ilk are smashed and the broken shells of their former glory are trampled into God’s green earth to join the fossils of the unfortunate. Warren, thank you for highlighting the harsh reality of virtue-signaling idiocy.
Thank you very much for the comment. There are many idiotic virtue signaling comments to choose from on this topic, but one of my favorites is the statement made by Ben & Jerry’s on July 4th, 2023 in which they urged the United States to return stolen indigenous land. Their facility in Waterbury, VT is located on ancestral Abenaki land. So far, Ben & Jerry’s has not returned the land they own to its rightful owners. If they were to lead by example, perhaps others would follow.
Can you imagine if the Welsh started claiming that all of England belonged to them and had to be evacuated by its Anglo-Saxon residents and property owners, so that the territory could go back to being rightly “Cymric”?
The problem is that if the Welsh did make the claim, there are so many stupid left-wing Labourite barristers in the U.K. there would be no lack of pro bono lawyers who’d jump at the chance to argue their case.
You’ve picked an even trickier egg to unscramble than Australia or North America given how many battles have been fought over the past thousand years. It definitely would be a field day for barristers, which is why there’s a pretty good chance someone will give it a shot.
I feel that I am living in a country/province that has gone mad! All that’s LEFT are scrambled brains.
Thank you for this really good poem Warren. So sad that it needed to be written.