The Pinnacle of Poetry
Well under one percent acceptance rate,
Submitters wait a year to learn their fate.
Yet some who scope its pages think they see
The naked emperor of poetry.
Absence of Consequences
The world is replete now with scammers and thieves,
Endless crimes—and the reason crooks do them,
As any half-conscious observer believes—
Is that nothing at all happens to them.
The Subscription Dance
They have no idea who I’m married to,
And send us invoices they hope will slip through,
With increases up to four hundred percent!
Yes, these days schemes sink to that shameful extent.
But my wife is ready, and jumps on her phone,
With techniques well-practiced, and tools of her own.
She points out the increase that they’re asking for,
Refusing in strong terms to pay that much more.
The sales reps are quite used to hearing such stuff,
But answer with offers that aren’t good enough.
So once several rounds leave a still-high amount,
My wife says the magic words—“close our account!”
Well, that does the trick—gets the nonsense to cease,
Then she happily tells me of our price DECREASE!
Cause for Acceptance
Some acts are understandably upsetting,
And on occasion even make us mad,
But is it apt if that’s the mood we’re getting,
When our own conduct can be just as bad?
Russel Winick started writing poetry after ending a long legal career. He resides in Naperville, Illinois.
Russel continues to dazzle us with his terse, concise wisdom leaving us amused but wiser!
If you say so, Sir. Thanks for your kindness.
“The naked emperor of poetry”, indeed! What a great phrase, Russel! And, I love your wife’s technique for obtaining subscription decreases.
Thanks, Cynthia! I trust you’ll be using her technique with your subscriptions, if you don’t already. Works every time! As for the naked emperor, I bought a thick book, and liked exactly one poem in it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Obviously to be a successful poet, you need the glasses, as graphically shown in Evans’ illustration.
As for consequences, the gatekeepers have mostly gone on social media platforms, leaving us open to scammers and other Internet rogues.
Your subscription poem reminded me of weekend shopping at the supermarkets myself an my colleague stop off at while out walking. My colleague argues and complains over prices until a reduction (a negligible reduction) is arrived at.
As for ‘Cause for Acceptance’, I must always remind myself that for every kettle, there is a pot.
Thanks for the nuggets of wisdom.
Thanks Paul, for your always-interesting observations. I especially enjoyed the pot and kettle analogy.
Very nice aphoristic works again. “The Pinnacle of Poetry” deserves its title spot; it summarizes pithily what is wrong with the world of “mainstream” poetry — a naked emperor indeed! Of the remaining poems, the second strikes me as something you see living in Illinois, and the fourth presents another good moral lesson.
Thanks Adam. “Absence of Consequences” is about the telephone and Internet scammers and thieves, and other criminals, who seem to face no consequences today. It’s everywhere. We just returned from Paris, where graffiti covered almost every available inch of public space in many areas. It was disgusting.
Well, Russel, our own equally bad conduct may be “cause for toleration” rather than a cause for anger. If both are truly bad conduct, I would hope to correct or improve my own. There’s no real expectation that we can change another’s conduct–unless it is a situation like “The Subscription Dance.” Mrs. Winick has an admirable procedure for dealing with overcharges, and your meter describing it is equally to be admired!
Thanks Margaret. I enjoy how you tie poems together!