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Home Poetry

Two Funny Love Poems for Valentine’s Day, by Roy E. Peterson

February 14, 2026
in Poetry, Humor, Love Poems, Satire, Sonnet
A A
32
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Listen, Wishin’ Star

Listen, you cotton pickin’ Wishin’ Star,
I know how far up in the sky you are.
I sent a wish up to your starry vaults;
I made a wish and I expect results.
My wish was quite explicit. I told you who
Was one I wished for, only she would do.
If I have to come out here each starry night,
I will do so until you get it right.
I live in Texas where the stars are bright,
So shine on her, my love, with wishin’ light.
And tell her heart my love is rare and fine;
I’ll make her dreams come true if she is mine.
Look, Wishin’ Star, I’m nice, I won’t insult
As patiently I wait for your result.

 

 

Valentine’s Best Sent
from Far Away

If Valentines
Were made of glue
I’d stick a dozen
Onto you.

You have allergies
And I have mine.
Here’s paper roses
For your valentine.

You said that I
Should grow a pair.
I’m sending you
Two locks of hair.

You’re on a diet.
That made me happier.
I ate the candy
And sent the wrapper.

You love perfume,
So here my queen
Is a scented strip
From a magazine.

 

 

poems Two Funny Love Poems for Valentine's Day, by Roy E. PetersonLTC Roy E. Peterson, US Army Military Intelligence and Russian Foreign Area Officer (Retired) has published more than 6,200 poems in 88 of his 112 books. He has been an Army Attaché in Moscow, Commander of INF Portal Monitoring in Votkinsk, first US Foreign Commercial Officer in Vladivostok, Russia and Regional Manager in the Russian Far East for IBM. He holds a BA, Hardin-Simmons University (Political Science); MA, University of Arizona (Political Science); MA, University of Southern California (Int. Relations) and MBA University of Phoenix. He taught at the University of Arizona, Western New Mexico University, University of Maryland, Travel University and the University of Phoenix.

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Comments 32

  1. jd says:
    5 months ago

    So clever, Roy, both of them. Just what one needs on a day that’s been made sappy with commercial overreach.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, j.d. I think Dr. Salemi will agree with you.

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi says:
        5 months ago

        Yes, Roy, I do. It’s about time we had some Valentine’s Day poems that aren’t sloppy, sentimental syrup.

        I love the lines “You said that I / Should grow a pair./ When your girlfriend tells you that, she’s criticizing either your courage, or your virility! We need more of such tough sexual vulgarity in the poetry here.

        Reply
        • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
          5 months ago

          When I wrote those poems, I remembered your comments some time ago about love and romance poetry. I appreciate your comments.

          Reply
    • rohini says:
      5 months ago

      I do so agree!

      Reply
      • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
        5 months ago

        Thank you, Rohini.

        Reply
  2. Paul Buchheit says:
    5 months ago

    Clever, yes, and fun to read, Roy!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Great, Paul! Thank you for the kind words.

      Reply
  3. Brian Yapko says:
    5 months ago

    Very entertaining poems, Roy, with a touch of sweetness that is most definitely NOT in the syrupy Hallmark vein. Thank you for the smile and Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Brian for the comments and wishes. May you also have a happy Valentine’s Day.

      Reply
  4. jd says:
    5 months ago

    ps. I hope you don’t mind if I share the second with a blog I frequent.
    I will give proper credit; my assumption is that as long as that is done, publicized poems are in the public domain. If that’s not the case, someone please enlighten me.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      I would be honored if you share them, j.d.

      Reply
  5. Jan Mennite says:
    5 months ago

    They’re funny and sweet and playful, Roy. Thanks for the fun read.

    Reply
  6. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    5 months ago

    Thank you, Jan, for the support.

    Reply
  7. Daniel Howard says:
    5 months ago

    There are some great lines in “Valentine’s Best Sent from Far Away”. I can imagine a radio host reeling them off.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Daniel! I appreciate your comments.

      Reply
  8. Carey Jobe says:
    5 months ago

    Thanks for these, Roy. Just the right touch of humor to add some zest to Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Carey!

      Reply
  9. Susan Jarvis Bryant says:
    5 months ago

    On Valentine’s day, I just love a good giggle amid the goo. Thank you for obliging, Roy! A very happy Valentine’s Day to you!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Mike! I appreciate your comments and am so pleased they resonated with you.

      Reply
  10. Cheryl Corey says:
    5 months ago

    Both poems fulfill expectations.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Cheryl.

      Reply
  11. Rohini says:
    5 months ago

    These are a good chuckle. Paper Roses, reminded me of an old song.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      You are right, Rohini! “But they’re only imitation like your imitation love for me.” That came to mind while I was writing it. Connie Smith, Connie Francis, and Marie Osmond sang versions of it.

      Reply
  12. Alec Ream says:
    5 months ago

    Down to earth grit with the right balance of music. Enjoyed these – thanks Col Peterson.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Alec.

      Reply
  13. James Sale says:
    5 months ago

    That Texas sky sounds dandy, Roy – and so are these poems: really enjoyed them! I was too busy yesterday to comment – for obvious reasons! Thanks.

    Reply
  14. Roy Eugene Peterson says:
    5 months ago

    Great to have your comments, James! Thank you so much for your kind words. You are so active all the time!

    Reply
  15. Norma Pain says:
    5 months ago

    I really enjoyed these Valentine’s day poems Roy. The song, ‘When you wish upon a Star’ came to mind and I love this version from the Pinocchio movie,
    https://youtu.be/HKh6XxYbbIc. These poems satisfied the kid in me.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Thank you, Norma. That song did not occur to me until now, but I can fathom the parallel.

      Reply
  16. Paul Freeman says:
    5 months ago

    Two cotton pickin’ amusing pieces. But threatening the stars….!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson says:
      5 months ago

      Paul, you made me laugh with your comments. Thank you.

      Reply

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